Holding Hands, Time

The slowness of consequences are daunting. 

I do not get to go back and be in time. It is being ripped away.

There are moments of ease about it, as if everything is still fine. But it is far from fine. There are moments when I cannot breath at the thought of closure. Of an “after it ends.”

Time is passing. That passing comes regret. Regret comes mourning. 

This is where the melancholy lies. It engages with that passing. With the intangible.

According to Affect Theory, the intangible, the emotions, the feelings we experience are missed in language. They cannot be held even by the written word. 

So all of this musing about with words is quite trite. 

What does it mean to experience time resonating throughout my body like some frequency beyond my senses? I am sensing a moment unfelt. A moment intangible. 

I use technology to reach those moments. To touch. To hold. There is a lack, however. 

There is never a reach back.

Time does not recognize my desire to hold its hand.